I'd be lying if I said I didn't ask myself "why" on a daily basis. "Why did I walk away?" "Why was I sacrificing my own success for someone else's?" If any of you have ever had the good fortune to work for yourself you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. It's very difficult to go from being your own boss, developing your own standards of excellence, being your own worst critic and greatest champion, to conforming to an all too common system of "good enough." It's exhausting.
It's physically and emotionally draining to force yourself into a manufactured definition of success. So, why do it? Money? Security? Fear? I have asked myself these questions over and over again. I've second guessed myself a lot lately, which is uncharacteristic for me. Again, the ugly question of "why" reared its head.
I began Yumology over two years ago, initially as a hobby and inspiration to spend more time in the kitchen and less time in the drive-thru. As time went by the blog evolved into what I had hoped I could develop into a successful brand built on a lighthearted love of all things food. Things began to gain momentum when Yumology was featured in local and national publications, it was building a name for itself, it was taking flight. Then, silence. I let it go. I let it go so I could focus more time and energy into my full-time job. Into someone else's dream. Why?
"The moment you want to quit is the moment you need to keep pushing."
I have told myself this on a daily basis. There have been many frustrations in attempting to grow this site and this brand from the ground up. I have allowed critics to infect my perception of success, my definition of realistic, my dreams. I have wanted to quit. I did quit.
Rome wasn't built in a day. Dreams take time to grow. Patience, passion and perseverance are the food from which we gain the greatest nourishment. There will be good days and bad. There will be critics. There will be fans. There will be starts and stops and ups and downs. Through it all believe in your dream. Believe in yourself. Believe that it will always get worse before it gets better.
I'm coming back, and for any of you out there interested in joining me, the test kitchen is now open.